Midnight Vigil [Wraith]

[¤Amy Grace¤]

She had set out candles surrounding the graves and set out pictures for those who had been lost. Alice, Carlos, Rain, each of them peering back with smiles through old time photos, the only thing she truly had left of them as she stood there looking down upon the graves. Amy had sent a message through the channels straight to Dokkaebi to inform Wraith she was waiting for him, she didn't even use his name anymore, Adam Kurgan was dead to her, Wraith was alive and his name was out there among the stars.

Scattered among the pictures was one of her and Adam together as well, and others from later in life, Charlotte and Zambi, Patriot, Seven, Sarah, the pictures were all smiling back at her from the times they spent together. Chambers had the largest picture in the middle, his static expression looking back at her now, his eyes never judging never questioning her, she wanted him here today, she didn't even get to say goodbye to him before his death.

That's why she was here though, this was her final goodbye to everyone from her past. The White Rabbit logo had crossed a thousand underground channels now, they knew the group was in town and they attempted to assassinate the president. It was a well sent message to Harker that he wasn't safe no matter how much of a bad mother fucker he thought he was. Yet, all they were doing was being remembered as terrorists in a time that they helped build.

She remembered George Sears, the first Big Boss, the things he'd say to her, the one that stuck with her the most, "To Do The Right Thing, You Sometimes Have To Leave The Things You Care About Behind."

Amy felt the words escape her lips as she said them from memory.

[«Wraith»]

He hadn't come here since the last time, hadn't been here in a while. He was walking up the path but stopped short when he came to the area where it had happened. The tracks of that encounter still clawed into the dirt path, had it really been so recent? It was odd, but he continued up the path and down the side path. He was incognito wearing a holographic face projector to hide his identity as he made his way here.

Everything in his right mind screamed not to show. But Dokk was adamant, and so was Jess. Had to play nice. Had to get her to understand we weren't the enemy. He was not the best person to do this. Especially not after the last time they had a face to face. Though truth be told he could've, he should've handled that way better. As soon as he came through the little bush cut off he pulled down his hood and pressed a button on the device behind his ear, his holographic mask vanished and he put the device in his pocket.

He wasn't kitted out or anything, just simple clothes, combat boots, acid washed blue jeans and a black T shirt under an off white hoodie that seemed more tan which was unzipped. He walked up with his hands in the hoodie pockets standing just a hair out of arms reach even though it didn't matter. He was staring at the photos. They broke his fucking heart.

[¤Amy Grace¤]

"How does it feel to still be living yet know that this isn't you anymore," she asked looking down at the grave and the pictures. She had been standing there a while before saying anything letting it all soak in. There were pictures of Marc, K-Mart, Otto, even a few of the old Hellsing guys for their brief stint with them like Farguson, the picture with Alucard looming in the back was just a shadow and eyes. The eyes still watched them like a part of him was still there.

"White Rabbit attempted to kill the President," she said, "starting a revolution is easy when someone else does it for you."

[«Wraith»]

"It feels, like an invisible wall between me and that live. And no matter how much I fight I can't get past it. Every action I take, every breath, every thought that wall moves forward and carries me farther away from it all the time." When did their lives slip past so quickly? When did they lose everything they were? Once they started losing people, all of these people in the photos. "The worst thing part is when you haven't even fully discovered any of the answers you needed either." He was staring at them to, a thousand times he'd seen them, a thousand memories each came with them. Pictures of all the old group, some they had lost during the RPD raid when they were kids, their first, or at least his real first time actually losing people close to him.

"I heard, I also saw the image." He was looking at a picture, a particularly goofy one of LJ and Marc standing back to back doing their best interpretation of a movie called Bad Boyz or something. "I don't mean to say this to piss you off or anything." His voice was low, "But to my knowledge you've never really been in a leadership role if we're being honest." They had been briefed on what had happened back at the Lodge, Jess had him running a solo investigation and trying to get in contact with some old friendlies he used to know to get a beat on who took the shots, but after combing the photos and even sneaking to the crime scene.

He had his suspicions, but nothing conclusive. "He'll probably survive, but that doesn't really help you any." He took a deep breath and let out of a long sigh as he looked over all the photos. Better now than never I guess; "I'm sorry, about how I acted that night. I'm not even going to try and explain why. I'm just sorry." He didn't know if after tonight he'd see her or if they'd even remain in contact or if this was the last time. If it was he at least wanted to be able apologize unlike the other last times.

[¤Amy Grace¤]

"I've lead caravans through New York for Patriot, Zambi and White Rabbit," she said dryly to his comment, "not to mention my own squadron in the Diamond Dogs, Sons of Sorrow, and Outer Haven."

"Doesn't matter though, I didn't ask you here hoping for an apology or to apologize," Amy reached into her pocket and pulled out one last picture, the group picture and sat it down in the middle of the pictures, "I wanted the only friend I ever knew to come here so I could say good bye properly to the dead."

[«Wraith»]

He nodded his head, letting his breath out through his nose. This was a long time coming, this was destined in the cards for the longest and while he realized that night that the person next to him wasn't really the person he grew up with, his inability to let go of the past was what held him to trying to maintain their friendship. But Amy, just like every body else was dead, just like him. Just like them in the pictures. "Two dead people finally saying goodbye to each other and finally passing on..." He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one up with his usual method. "Sounds about right." He said letting the smoke escape before blowing it up into the sky.

This hurt, but for some reason it felt right, needed. The problem was it cut, deeper than he'd really ever known. It was a calm and cold pain that was necessary in some weird way. He took another hit from his cigarette before staring at the picture she sat down. He was going to say something, but he stopped and hesitated, blowing the smoke up and away from them. Their paths were leading them on different ways now, this time for good it seemed.

[¤Amy Grace¤]

"There is nothing left inside me now. Nothing at all, no hated, not even regret, and yet, sometimes at night, I can still feel the pain creeping up inside me," she said, the look on her face was barren of emotion, "I thought when I woke up the world would be different and I'd be able to relearn who I was but instead I realized the girl who I was wasn't the girl who I needed to be."

"I was weak," she took the same dog tags and threw them onto the grave, "I never intended to be your enemy, but now I realize a revolution isn't enough."

She reached down and took the knife from her boot and threw it into the ground next to the grave. Every familiar face looking back at her, everyone that she had ever known, most of them were gone and this was all she had left to show for it, she didn't even have rights as a person, she wasn't safe from a tyrant organization, and there were many people hunting down the Maiden of Revolution. Alice would be proud.

[«Wraith»]

He didn't say anything, not yet, he let her say her peace. He stood there in uncomfortable silence and just let her words sink in. It was such a damned shame, he took another hit from his cigarette. She, at least, Amy as he knew her was in fact dead. The person next to him was not Amy, and it took him until now to relearn that. He shouldn't have forgotten it back in '26, But fucking Marcus, fucking Tara, fucking Richie, they put thoughts in his head and he let those thoughts change him for some stupid hope that wasn't really a thing.

Now he was sitting here like an idiot, he felt like an idiot. But he kept quiet, there wasn't nothing to really say, nothing to really say, except one thing. "You're not my enemy. Just because we're not eating at the same table anymore doesn't mean I want to watch you starve..." It was the only thing he could say.

He was staring straight ahead at the pictures. The cigarette resting between his fingers at his side. "We always knew the golden rule, don't get attached, be close but not too close. Because you'll lose them eventually." He took a deep breath before taking another hit, "We either forgot it, or just ignored it for some reason... we were stupid for doing so."

[¤Amy Grace¤]

"We weren't stupid," she said, "we were kids trying to be kids."

Amy looked over at him and took her hand from her pocket and put it on her shoulder, "We have no tomorrow. But we can still have hope for the future. This wont be the last time we cross paths, but this is the last time we get to remember the past as who we are. We can't pretend to be who we once were anymore, so with that, Adam Kurgan... I say goodbye."

[«Wraith»]

He nodded, "You're right." He said, flipping his cigarette into his palm and crumbling it into his hand and snuffing it out. He finally turned to her fully to get one last look at her, it took a moment but he finally extended his other hand to shake hers. "Farewell Amy Grace. I'll meet you in the Underland one day."

[¤Amy Grace¤]

She walked past his hand and wrapped her arms under his and put her head against his chest she could hear his heart beat. She didn't move just held on tight almost like she didn't want to say goodbye but knew this was everything she needed to do in order to move forward with life, shed what was once a girl and butterfly into a matriarch.

Her grip loosened and she stepped back and looked at him, there was a sad look in her eyes but it was replaced with fire a moment later as she let her hands slide up and grabbed the sides of his neck to pull him down to her level and kissed him, something she wanted to do an eternity ago.

"Good...bye," she said as she pulled back slightly.

[«Wraith»]

He felt her move past his hand and move in close, at first his sense of danger spiked but he didn't move even as her arms wrapped around him and she rested her head against his chest. For the first time in four years he was biting back tears and pain and even though there was a sad warmth to this embrace as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held her just as tight everything screaming in his head to not let go, to say something. Try one. more. fucking. time! To convenience her to set it all down, to leave with him and just start over fresh somewhere. To beg with her and plead, just drop to a knee do something. His eyes were watering already.

He knew she wouldn't, she'd never do it. Even if everything played out the way one would've wished this whole thing to play out it wouldn't have ever come to that. When the embrace ended he did everything he could to blink away the water in his eyes and looked at her when she moved forward, her hands grabbing his neck he didn't fight back at all he let everything happen, her lips both silencing his thoughts and causing his heart to feel like it was being squeezed. Instinctively his hands shot up to her jaw line, lightly wrapping to the nape of her neck as he returned the kiss.

It was everything he'd thought it be, he should've done it sooner in his life and that hurt worse than anything. As she pulled back he nodded and let go, closing his eyes to prevent the tears from flowing. He cleared his throat, "Yeah..." He sniffed a bit and shook his head, "...Good bye..."

[¤Amy Grace¤]

A small smile crossed her lips and she turned to the grave taking out a zippo lighter and lit it, she knelt down taking some of the dry grass she had gathered and sat the zippo down in the middle of the pictures on top of the group picture and scattered the dried grass what fell through caught fire and set the embers for the rest of the grass. The family she had back in 2005 was gone yet here she stood next to the one man she'd give up the world for and she turned away.

She shed no tears in his view but as she walked away, the fire caught to the memories, the embers trickled around and the ash of what once was began to settle in her mind. She had been through it all, saved by a mother who didn't birth her, loved by a lover who she never got to love, protected by a father who was never her father, she had lost friends, she had witnessed the death of many and she choked back the tears but they broke through.

Each step she took was hard to stop herself from turning back and running to him, take her back to Blu, she would give up the world now to feel normal again but things were missing, so much was scattered, that itching feeling at the back of her head told her this must be done. She didn't want the last thing she ever said to him be in hatred, this was sadness but it made her happy.

[«Wraith»]

He stood there and watched the flames go up, he didn't move as she started walking away instead he watched the flames grow brighter, every memory of the moment frozen by the pictures set free in his mind as the flames took the photo, playing out and then leaving him. Every step she took further from him his mind ached and screamed to reach out and stop but he didn't, he stared at the flames and watched and let the memories each picture hold become free and fleeting in his mind.

He didn't cry, he didn't sob he didn't make a sound, his was a quiet ache but it was a needed one. The flames burned the last picture up, the picture of them when they were kids, happy and arms around one another's necks, the ashes catching on a breeze that blew by and they were carried off. This was needed. This was how it was always meant to end, and even though it hurt so much... It felt right, it felt... right.

He turned away from the gravestones and mumbled a final goodbye, to everyone, to the family he never knew he needed, to the blonde, naive kid picked up at that hospital, and to the very first love of his life. He walked away, glad that this time, this final time wasn't a fight, it wasn't a yelling match or screaming, it was a good, good bye. It was time to stop fighting that invisible wall, time to let it guide him to where ever he was going and where ever he was meant to go. Adam was dead and gone... He was Wraith now.